By SUNITTA CHILAKA –

PSYCHOLOGISTS  have defined conflict resolution as the act or process of coming up with a solution to a fight or struggle.
Examples of earthly conflicts are wars, strike action by workers and family members waging war against each other.
Christian conflict resolution which we will talk about today is defined as the act or process of coming up with a solution to a fight or a struggle using the principles of Jesus Christ.
Conflicts usually happen at work places, streets and in our neighbourhood.
A community is made up of neighbours who have little in common and most of the times suspicious of each other.
A simple survey which was conducted showed that more than 90 per cent of people do not like their neighbours, they don’t trust them and will be happy if some bad luck feel on them.
The Bible clearly teaches the very opposite, for all the law fulfilled in one word, even in this, “love your neighbour as you love yourself”.
To come to a clear resolution, the conflict has to be dealt with on three levels.
The levels are facts which merely states the situation as it is, they cannot be denied or ignored.
The feelings or emotions are the emotional reactions to a given situation by both parties while the third one is identity level where each party evaluates its position in relation to the facts of a given situation.
Conflicts with our neighbours is ever present as we grew up different than them, their children are brought up differently, so this is the reason why when the children fight, parents prefer to resolve conflicts by fighting also.
So they see things from a different angle.
Since time immemorial, the work place has been an arena for conflict. The very fact that the master wants more production with as little production cost as possible, while servants want as much pay for minimum work creates a conducive atmosphere for conflict.
James 5:4 says: “Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.”
Conflicts are everywhere around us, as Christians it is better not to create conflicts but when we find ourselves as victims of conflicts,we need to take heed on what the Lord Jesus Christ says about conflict.
His life was full of conflicts, his own family members misunderstood him, his own neighbours wanted to kill him, and his own best friend denied and abandoned him.
When his own people were asked to choose between him and a murderer, they choose a murderer.
Yet in all these situations Jesus Christ never uttered a word of abuse, retaliation or revenge.
He always talked about forgiveness, reconciliation and praying for those who were persecuting him.
Jesus left us with enough instruction, he encouraged us to act in the opposite spirit if a person is stingy be generous to them. If the person is insulting, bless them. If they impose on you do even more than they asked you to do for them and return love to hatred and prayers for persecutions.

This I can assure you transforms both lives, the one who wants to start the conflict and you. When this is combined with persistence in doing well, this is the powerful weapon against evil. Matthew 5:38-48, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Thessalonians 5:15.
The best way to resolve conflict as recorded in Matthew 18:15-20, is by facing your brother without involving other people unless it is necessary.
If the first stage does not work then take in one or two independent witnesses and if this second stage fails to work take the matter to the Church, if he listens then you have worn him but if the third stage fails to work then the church needs to excommunicate him and regard him as a non-believer.
When conflict arises no one really wants to feel like they have lost the battle or feel that they were the ones who were wrong in the first place so this causes many not to resolve conflicts.
The best attitude while in conflicts is being agreeable, humble and considering others better than yourself. If you are a Christian you need to consider the compelling and challenging example of Jesus Christ himself.
Apostle Paul says, agree with each other, be humble, love each other and care for the concerns of others. These are summarised further by this statement, “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:1-11.
Whenever you want to resolve a conflict either at work, home, in the community follow Jesus’ example and don’t take matters into your own hands.
Don’t fight or use words which will leave you embarrassed or regret for the rest of your life. It takes time for people to forget the vulgar language which one used. Remember Christianity is a way of life.