A FRIEND of ours died this week. My first reaction was denial. However, when the E mails, Facebook and WhatsAppp messages filled up with condolences.
I had to accept it was true. From then on, my reaction morphed from denial, to despair and finally to self-depreciation.
He was so full of energy, someone who could have had an impact on our world.
In fact he did make an impact, but he could have made an even bigger impact had he lived longer.
The process of living sometimes preoccupies our minds so much we hardly have time to have a life or help a friend.
The experience got me thinking about what really matters in life.
How we pursue so seriously and vigorously the things that matter least of all.
That what most people wish they had done as they get older, is not more office work, but they wish, they had spent more time with their family.
That they had worried less, and lived more.
That they ought to have taken time to know their grandchildren and laughed more. The experience got me asking the question.
Why do some people live longer than others? It’s a fact for example that women all over the world live at least 10 years longer than men.
It is also a fact that African people die younger than do Europeans or let alone Asians.
I cracked my head over it a while and concluded that they are a few small things that make the difference.
These small things build up and make some people healthier than others
1. What are the small things that make  people unhealthy ?
2. How do these small things make people healthy?
3. What small’s things can I do to be healthier?
4. What are the small things that make people unhealthy?
The small things that matter can be summarised in three words habits, hobbies and hopes. Habits have to do with the past the things that you have picked up growing up, which are a part of your character.
They are the things that you do that make you unique or different from
anyone else. Most people guard and defend their habits passionately.
We are all very sensitive about being criticised over our habits. We are keen to change others but unwilling to change ourselves. Some common habits are around foods, fads and fashions. Hobbies are pass times and play time preferences.
Those sports, indoor games and leisure habits that we enjoy in our free time. They are the toys grown-ups play with. Sometimes hobbies and habits blend imperceptibly into each other and can be difficult to disentangle.
Very few of us, I have found, have any hobbies expect watching football perhaps and cooking, where our women folk are concerned.
Most of us are too busy working for a living to find any play time at all. Hopes on the other hand are the dreams and fantasies that we have for the future.
The things we wish we could have become or dream of becoming. Many of us face the peer pressure, growing up, of smoking.
This commonly starts around early secondary school, behind the class room blocks after school breaks.
It is sneaked in and sold to us, as a sign of being brave, sophisticated, independent and grown up.
This habit grows on us over the years and slowly erodes our health. It proves an amazingly difficult habit to quit.
A common and increasing hobby now, is television watching. It often combines the hobby of sports and the habit of smoking.
This has led to the mushrooming of sports bars, to cater for this ever growing clientele.
In the 1970 and 1980s there was only one television channel, and repeats of old English premier league matches.
Now satellite television operators, runs myriads of channels with leisure entertainment, pass times and fun things twenty four hours all at your fingertips.
It appears deceptively harmless except that it encourages the combined vices of  lack of exercise, excessive snacking(often of high carbohydrate and high animal fat junk food) and binge drinking of alcohol.
The dreams that occupy our minds are sometimes driven by our
television watching, they centre on wealth and success.
Hardly ever around happiness and healthy relationships.
2. How do these things make people unhealthy?
In my experience the biggest driver for many of us is success. This may be success in our studies, our work life , our married life and our businesses.
So in short it is our hopes and dreams that are the main determinants of our actions. Our energies are consumed by a desire to be as
successful as we can be as quickly as possible. In this pursuit our health becomes unimportant and secondary.
In our racing after success we pick up some habits and hobbies that are seen as necessary for success which may be detrimental to our own health.
In the high tension stress filled drive to personal success smoking, drinking, sexual indiscretion, bad food choices and lack of exercises lead to a neglect of our health.
Long working hours, with little sleep, excessive alcohol intake and junk food eventually begin to have effects on the body. Cigarette smoke contains over 20 harmful elements, including nicotine and tar.
These damage the lining of the lung tubes and the blood vessel wall.
It is the leading preventable cause of cancers in the world. Among the cancers caused by smoking is lung cancer, Bladder cancer and Oral or mouth cancers. Stress, alcohol, lack of exercise and bad food choices, lead to being overweight, Sugar diseases, Ulcers and raised Blood pressure. High energy diets or high calorie diet (lots of fast foods) and little exercise tell the body to store fat.
This leads to narrowing of blood vessels which become filled with fat on their inner lining.
Now the heart has to work harder and pump with more force in order to get blood through to the body’s cells. This\ leads to Hypertension (BP). This in turn leads to a severe strain on the heart, and repeated episodes of cheat pain (Myocardial strain and Heart Attack).
The increase in weight due to injudicious food choices places a strain on the body’s ability to manage the food currency which is sugar (or glucose).This leads to excessive stress on the Pancreas the gland that produces insulin which is the substance that controls the sugar levels in the body.
When the Pancreas begins to fail to cope the result is Diabetes Mellitus or Sugar Disease. The triad of Hypertension, Diabetes and Obesity work to together with increasing damage to the key body organs such as the Brain, the Heart and the Kidneys kidney.
One of the leading causes of ill health in Zambia now is kidney disease and kidney failure.
3. What small things can I do to be healthier?
It is unrealistic to suppose that habits, hobbies and hopes that are built over a life time can be changed easily.
These build over a whole generation and often take a generation to change.
However the first step must be to accept that while it is good to be ambitious in life, it is equally important to be healthy.
If health is taken for granted it becomes the biggest stumbling block to true success. It is self-evident that whatever can be achieved in our life, cannot be sustained if we are not healthy.
If this is accepted then it becomes possible to make small changes to habits and hobbies for the future. We can slowly begin to ask the question, is this habit good for my health in the long term. It is helpful and easier to introduce a healthy habit instead of stopping unhealthy ones.
The person who introduces exercises into his or her daily routine soon finds that they are reducing the amount of unhealthy television watching.
Try to include a simple exercise routine into your schedule once a day. It can start with as little as 15 minutes a day of rapid walking around your house, early in the morning or late in the evening.
The less equipment and material you need the better, easier and more sustainable this will be. See the effects of this change on your health and it will encourage you to introduce other small changes to your habits.
Try to introduce the habit of eating at least one fruit a day in your daily eating program.
Do not be too ambitious,  to make the small things count take small steps every day, before you know it the small steps will have built you a healthy character which will give you a healthy life.