By SUNITTA CHILAKA –

YOU have found each other, congratulations and now the wedding bells which you have been longing for are finally here.
How can you get your fiancé into being part and parcel of the wedding planning process?
When the groom is involved in the wedding planning, it is more fun and it makes all the process enjoyable, memorable and easy. Wedding planning isn’t just for brides and on the other hand grooms just to foot the budget.
No matter how difficult mathematics has been proven to be, we all know how to write a budget and spend money wisely. Whether the groom passed his mathematics exam at Grade 12 or failed completely, managing the wedding budget is the perfect task for him.
Putting the groom in charge of the money is simply the best task you can ever think of.
They have believed beyond doubt that they are the best accountants with or without training.
This is why a father is a banker by nature.
Every child expects their father to bring something from work, pay day or not, they must find money to buy a snack for their children.
A groom should handle well the wedding budget, because the task ahead is too huge to handle.
Give him a lot of wedding planning programmes that include a budget tool as it might make this task even more appealing to him.
Brides always pay particular attention to detail, the shopping takes long as they have to negotiate.
If your groom has negotiating skills like you, ask him to work out the prices with vendors and see what kinds of extras he can manage to get included in your packages.
Make him understand that in wedding planning, no task is unimportant. Sit down together, collaborate on writing your personalised wedding vows or go through the traditional vows together.
Bring out his romantic side by asking him to express his thoughts.
Grooms are excited and know a lot about music and the best DJs in town.
When choosing the DJ, he should take charge of providing them with a list of the tunes you both want to hear and don’t want to hear. Remember those exciting times when you first started dating, the songs that moved you should be included in the play list for the wedding celebration.
Entrusting the groom with such a task, you will never go wrong.
Men want to make sure they don’t have to pose for too many photos and they don’t want the photographer to be invasive of their space.
The groom can be given this task, they can look for a photographer who they are comfortable with and understands their concerns.
Just look around, ladies have more photo albums than men, it’s just now when the social media has become more popular that men take some photos to post. It’s just a way of not being left behind.
Grooms also love getting behind the bar, chat with friends at the end of the function.
This task they enjoy, know the types of drinks friends and family love to drink. Quenching the thirst is a very big deal for a lot of grooms.
Grooms are always concerned about what their friends will have on the day of the wedding.
Even if he isn’t an expert in food, let him determine the menu for the wedding, you never know what lies inside his creative minds.
Have him enjoy choosing his own wedding suit and for the groomsmen, with the colour theme in mind.
Go with him to buy the suit and not to criticise but to add glamour to the wedding suit.
Some men don’t like to wear suits, they don’t go for such a shopping spree, the only suit they have is the one given to them by their father.
You can tell how they struggle to wear it. They wear the suit jacket matched with a pair of jean trouser.
Create seating arrangements for your reception table and choose the colour theme together. We all have favourite colours, regardless of our gender.
Matching personalities can be fun and exciting for the couple to do together. Grooms are taking charge of the diplomatic issues that come up between all the people involved in the wedding planning and those who just love to cause confusion.
Disagreements arise when some members of the family from the groom’s side want a different colour theme, venue or a decorator.
Forgetting that the bride has a different taste for her wedding, this is the time the groom should be the official peacekeeper and defend their nuptial.
If you fail to defend what the bride wants now, then it will be a big problem when you get married because you will not protect your wife. Whatever they said you will treat it as gospel truth.
More and more men want to take dance lessons because they don’t want to make a fool out of themselves during the first dance. Give them enough time and encouragement that they can dance without pulling their muscles.
On a regular basis get his input on decisions and allow him to pick the wedding tasks he is comfortable with.
Schedule the right time to discuss the wedding, this way you will resist the urge to harass him with wedding issues. When he is at work, these are called working hours don’t call him to ask if he has spoken to the master of ceremonies. The timing is wrong, he might be frustrated with his supervisor and all the anger might just land on you.
When one is tired it not the best time to talk either, you can have a meeting during the night before going to bed or on weekends when you are both free and have a free mind.
He might not have done any of his given tasks, don’t get upset and lose your temper, help him to manage his time well.
Time is the great equalizer among people. A day will always have 24 hours in it, so grooms you have all the time in the world to do your tasks and to plan a memorable wedding.
You have all the time in the world but not all the time there is so you have to make choices about what to do with your time.
Write down your to do list, divide them according to how many service providers you can call in a day. You might not go to their offices at a particular time but a phone call can make a difference.
Grooms can plan memorable weddings only if they put their minds to it and believe in themselves.
Someone said if you want to delegate a task to another person, the best to do is to give it to someone who is very busy. Give the grooms tasks that they can handle, they cannot be told to choose the best flavour for a wedding cake. We all do well that which we love to do.
This column has received more feedback from grooms more than brides. It is a good thing and it shows that the groom can easily develop interest in the nuptials. They also want the best out of their weddings and want to be fully involved.
They might struggle a bit now during the wedding planning process but as time goes on and the big day gets closer, they will become more and more involved with the details of the day and that’s just as it should be. After all, the wedding belongs to both of you.
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