SOMETIME in June 2010, my close friend Beauty (not her real name) got married to her beloved boyfriend David (not his real name).
The two lived together as husband and wife and were blessed with two children- a boy and a girl.
Six months down the line after a blissful marriage, however, things began to fall apart gradually as David became a totally different person all together. He suddenly stopped going home for lunch, spent no time with his family nor did he provide enough for the family. At this time the couple only had one child.
Beauty was one of those women who are naturally patient and she endured the challenges she faced in her marriage hoping for the best one day.
Three years later, the couple had a baby boy though their ups and downs had not waned in their home.
After two years, my friend noticed her husband’s worsening attitude towards her and the family. As the saying goes, “You never know a person till you live with him,” Beauty was to discover the truth in the adage.
As the two were still in a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship that lasted for two years before they married, my friend believed that David was a self-employed man.
He told her that he used his late father’s car that was given to him as a taxi to earn a living. But the truth always has a way of presenting itself.
Contrary to what my friend believed as told by her man, she discovered a nightmare- her husband never even attended secondary school and the car he was driving was his boss’ as he was employed as a taxi driver!
She also learnt that he was once married with two children, but her husband divorced because the wife got fed up with his philandering ways which included him dating poor Beauty at that time.
Beauty received the shocking news when her husband’s sister narrated the story to her. When she got home, she patiently waited for David to come back from work, refresh himself, served him his meal and when he got settled to enjoy his rest in his comfortable couch, Beauty broached the subject
“What is this I am hearing that you were once married and that you had two kids with your wife? You have never told me anything of that sort nor has your family. How could you do this to me?” she asked disappointedly.
“Go and ask the people that told you that nonsense and stop asking me silly questions,” he retorted.
“I am asking you because I want to know the truth from you!” she said. “You know what? Stop pestering me around because it was you that caused my marriage to break with my wife! Right now she is married to another man all because of you! You were just a prostitute that wrecked my family, I had two kids with her and they are those two girls you see at my mother’s place!” David shot back, in a loud voice.
Beauty was stunned by the incredibly stinging words. She was so depressed and shocked that she could not utter a word;, she was speechless. My friend did not know what to do or think because she was already married to this man.
When she rang me the next morning to explain her situation, I advised her that it was high time she began thinking about putting her own life in order for the sake of the kids.
“As much as you are living with your husband, forget about him and focus on building and developing your life,” I advised.
Since Beauty had not completed her high school, she decided to go back and get her O’ level certificate. She would do all the house chores, ensured food was cooked and all was in place before she could leave for her evening classes.
But as if this was not enough, David begun finding faults in her, beating her up each time he got home and in a drunken state. “Stop wasting your time by going to school because you will go nowhere in life, your life ended ages ago” he would always yap at his wife. David changed from being a husband to a ‘harsh band!’
I encouraged my friend not to give up till she got her certificate.
Indeed, she persevered as per advice until she sat for her exams and cleared all her subjects at O level. The situation became unbearable as the “harsh band” continued abusing her emotionally, beating her up and literally stopped buying food in the house.
Beauty couldn’t take it any longer and packed out of the house. She threatened to report David’s abuses to the police, but David and his family went pleading with Beauty’s family that he had changed and wanted his wife back. But can a leopard change its spots?
Beauty and her family took his apologies and she went back to their matrimonial home. A week later, however, David went home very late and drunk. Immediately he got home, he said to his wife, “You are such a sleepy woman no wander you will contract HIV/AIDS right here in the house and people will not know that I infected you because immediately I knew I was positive, I would go on medication, but for you, you will not know anything hence you will be sick in bed and people will think you gave me the disease,..” he said callously.
As his wife was always speechless with her husband’s behaviour and words, she stood up at once and went in the bedroom. Her husband followed her, got into the blankets with her, thinking he had stopped his talk and decided to sleep, but, unfortunately, he had gone there to continue his story by whispering in Beauty’s ears.
“The money I work for is meant for my prostitutes, I cannot waste my energy and effort working for a house wife! And can I tell you one thing?
I am from having sex with my girlfriend and I do not feel like having more because she gave it all to me.”
My friend said she fought back tears as she didn’t want to show David that his actions and words were killing her because probably his intention was to hurt and frustrate her so that she could pack her bags on her own or, worse still, take her own life so that he could have his freedom.
Beauty endured this kind of life for months because what she did not want was to make a habit of frequently packing to and fro her mother’s home. As time went by, my friend discovered she was pregnant and told her husband about it but the man did not utter a word about her condition. At that time, their second year old child was over two years and some months old.
Days later, while meeting as husband and wife, David had already planned about his wife’s pregnancy.
He inserted an abortion pill in his wife’s vagina while in the process of love making. The following day when his wife decided to visit the toilet, she discovered blood on her pants and immediately got out, pounced on the phone and called her husband.
“Hello, Hi David?” she worriedly asked wondering how her ‘harsh band’ would receive the news once she spilled the beans to him. “Hello..!” he replied. “I woke up this morning only to discover blood on my pants; I don’t know what is happening,…” she said in a panicky state. “Wow..! Yes, don’t worry about that you will be fine.
I am happy it has worked because we cannot be having children like dogs, one after the other,” he said.
Beauty was heart-broken. She thought for a moment what exactly the hubby did, she asked herself whether he truly loved and cared for her, or if at all he had a sense of humour, but most importantly, whether he had any conscience at all. She was at cross-roads and had no choice but decided that the marriage should be dissolved. Such a man could kill, she thought.
Upon arrival from work, she confidently expressed her feelings about everything to her husband who, without batting an eye-lid, welcomed the decision because he said he needed a slim woman for a wife and not a fat one like Beauty!
The crazy and heartless man went on to wonder why my friend was still holding on to him after all the pain, the anguish and the abuse he had inflicted on her.
My friend left her house for her parent’s home and explained what had happened. The two went to court and were granted divorce.
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