WHIPPING up the social terrain in the hood is a new euphemism coined after a local tycoon.
Lazzo was taken aback at the watering hole recently when he was referred to as a ‘*******’ and this coincided with the month-end.
But it occurred to him that euphemism had been doing the rounds in recent times in the hood and this was an opportune time to grasp the lingua franca!
Incidentally, this new catchword was like the fraternal escape from ages-old words like ‘prostitute’ which later became watered down to ‘sex worker’ due to gender parity polemics!
Lazzo overheard Maria tell her friend that the hood’s own Lazzo had suddenly become a ’*******’ going by the consistency with which he sponsored the rounds of hard drinks!
The word seemed to have a silent effect especially among members of the opposite sex, who had the onerous task of identifying individual affluence.
Now the crux of the matter occurred when two ‘*******s’ met headon!
Both had the propensity to paint the vicinity red going by the spectre of being outnumbered by females at the table.
There was a striking beauty in their midst and it seemed the two ‘********s’ were out to fish her out of the pond.
However, each one of them had a gimmick up their sleeve as the evening drew closer with the electrifying atmosphere intensifying.
Lazzo excused himself and headed towards the gents as the imbibing continued at a modest but somewhat rapid pace.
One could tell this by the quick sips off the lager bottles as loud music blared from the gigantic speakers as usual.
As soon as he disappeared round the bend, the other Casanova began to debrief the stunning blonde about Lazzo.
He told Maria’s  mate that in fact the friend who had left for the ‘gents’ was in fact a childhood friend who was lodging at his house.
Reason? He had just been discharged from a mental hospital in the eastern direction of the city and was now recuperating outside the institution.
The mesmerising lass reclined her ear to hear more from the determined Casanova and going by her poise, she was getting every word as ‘gospel truth’.
Hardly had two minutes passed when Lazzo returned to an inquisitive searching look by the pair in the group of patrons at the table.
“Yes my friend, how are you feeling now?” the Casanova began the dialogue with intent to get a reply.
The  unsuspecting Lazzo who was in high spirits crisply replied,” Fantastic!” as the prima donna of the gathering blinked quizzically searching for sanity in Lazzo’s face.
This coincided with the woman and the Casanova exchanging looks as if confirming what had been communicated to her by the Casanova.
One thing was clear:  The woman had gradually become rather cold towards him and Lazzo noticed this but could not figure out the reason for the sudden indifference.
Meanwhile, the other Casanova had a field day discussing with the woman who seemed to have shifted attention from Lazzo completely and evaded any overtures to engage in any discussion with him.
Lazzo thought this was the best time relations with the woman should have been skyrocketing towards the clouds but to no avail!
Now the writing was on the wall that Lazzo had lost out and it was going to be another ‘sad and lonely night’ for him.
He began to grow tense at the ensuing development and was contemplating settling for an option but somehow, he could not reverse his original feelings for the adorable woman and this frustrated him more.
He became more flabbergasted when he realised that all the time these women were hanging around, it was simply because of the capacity to service the crowd and this had nothing to do with liking or loving the sponsors!
He questioned himself when he would ever learn or come to terms with reality in social circles as he had been duped, deceived and disappointed by these descendants of Eve several times.
This was like someone deducing when exactly he was getting very drunk as inebriation was a gradual process.
But many times Lazzo had undergone a series of deceptions until he finally concluded that sometimes he thought women had an affable mask of glamour that hid their real intentions!
Still he had settled for the notion that they turned out to be sly and bore two sides like a coin.
His mentor had once told him that in fact ‘these people could be mothers without being motherly sometimes’…
Lazzo swayed his mind off the study of females and concentrated on his imbibing as he stared blankly at a television set perched up the corner of the wall.
It was still all pictures and no sound but loud music which he thought was irritating to the hilt!
It seemed in this context, old habits die hard as this was an all-encompassing gimmick to woo customers.
All around him were happy people, so he thought and he was the odd one out but the alcohol helped him gloss over his disappointment.
“Sometimes crap happens!,” the slantforehead man would quip at the watering hole in the midst of imbibing.
The Casanova seemed to have struck a deal with Maria’s friend and they were contemplating spending night together.
Lazzo was using his experience to fathom development as the clock ticked towards late hours in the night.
Since Lazzo was so disillusioned with the whole business, he decided to call it early quits.
He could only figure out that the other Casanova had a moment of bliss with the cherished beauty in the hood.
But at one point, he stopped to think.  But what does it benefit a flirt if he triumphs in a fleeting moment but moves closer to his tomb?
He was certain, many mistakes occurred when a Casanova sets out to please himself under the influence of alcohol.
Sometimes he wondered why some of his mates were still looking very fit after a venturing into the ‘unknown’! He left the answer to posterity for a convincing answer.