WHEN I was getting married, the elders emphasised how to behave on the day of the kitchen party and wedding day. At this point many will agree with me that we were told not to smile no matter how funny the joke delivered was, no dancing, no talking and no eye contact with the guests. It was just listening to what was being said.
The only time I was told to look up was when someone was giving an illustration and it was just few seconds. Some valuable lessons were learnt though.
All these things have changed in a blink of an eye. Brides and grooms are dancing like they want to prove a point. They are calling themselves “modern brides.” On the day of the kitchen parties they want to sit on a sofa, not on the floor.
Times are changing; we all agree but many marriage lessons are timeless. Positive ideas are welcome and can be added but the reality is that one cannot wake up one day and phase off everything both relevant and irrelevant lessons.
The wedding pick for this month of September is for Jimmy Bwalya and Eunike Chanda. They met in South Africa where the groom is working and at the time of meeting the bride was at university. Their wedding ceremony took place at the Kitwe council chamber on Thursday September 10 and reception took place on September 12 in Nkana East, Kitwe. It was a mum’s backyard wedding inspiration. Reception was at the bride’s parents (the venue is available for hire).
This type of arrangement calls for many relatives, the good thing is that two birds are killed with one stone. Accommodation is available to all those travelling, some can sleep in the bedrooms, sitting room, dining room and even in the kitchen.
No transport expenses to the reception venue. It’s just expensive for the owner of the house if they allow the whole clan to attend then food is costly. It is worth it at the end of the day.
The guest list was 100 people, on the day of the wedding those that came were less than the list expected.
Weddings at a house, in mum’s backyard are a splendid affair. It has a warm attention, lovingly just like the mother’s love creating the perfect setting for your memorable wedding. It’s getting hot, windy but in mum’s backyard there is always a breeze to cool all the invited guests and just remind them how comforting it feels to be at mum’s place.
Many brides who choose to hold weddings at their mother’s backyard do so because they grew up there and it’s a good way to say goodbye to their parents. Mum’s backyard is always unbelievably beautiful and an awesome getaway for guests. The mother of the bride was in the forefront organising and making sure everything was in place.
The guests were so relaxed, made friends, business partners, I strongly believe that even marriage material was spotted.
The photo session was done in the afternoon at 1500hrs because the reception was scheduled for 1800hrs. The groom’s side arrived early, some guests were also early. The bridal party came late as usual at 20:30hrs. I once said this and I still want to emphasise this point; the invitation cards should “read all guests should be seated by 14hrs”. The time on the invitation cards is not for taking a shower or starting off from home, it’s for the event to start.
The bride and groom chose a yellow and green wedding colour theme. Wedding colours reflect your personality trait. Yellow is illuminating and uplifting. When used as the wedding colour theme, it creates a warm and happy mood which will lift up the spirits of your guests. It symbolises wisdom.
Green on the other hand is liked by people who are relaxed, compassionate, sociable, modest and loyal. The bridesmaids wore green long dresses designed with them in mind and the chief bridesmaid wore a yellow dress. Many things were DIY make up was done by themselves.
The reception venue was done by one of my students Natasha who has a strong passion for décor and the wedding industry at large. New decorator on board and this was her first big event décor. There’s no denying the power of crazy green and yellow which are pastel and good for summer weddings celebrations especially those held outdoors.
Bright colour is called for as the guests will feel energized and inspired and nothing beats mum’s backyard wedding inspiration.
Silver buckets with apples on top were used as center-pieces placed on a crazy green organza. This introduced colour and created a calming effect on the table to allow guests’ eyes rest on the table.
Yellow linen napkins were put on the round table also, table numbers for easy identification. The table linen was black to bring out the pastel colours which are good for an afternoon reception, not for evening reception. Black is a lazy colour which speaks softly. If you don’t bother me, l won’t bother you. When used, it turns the afternoon wedding to look vibrant, fun and fresh in the evening.
The grass and flowers were green so the garden chairs were dressed in white seat covers, tied with a yellow organza which provided a touch of glamour.
The programme was planned differently from the other weddings we usually attend. The three bridesmaids and three groomsmen entertained us with the simple main dance together with the bride and groom at the end. They danced with all their might with gusto; all the invited guests stood up from their seats. Phones with or without cameras were made to take still pictures.
The bride wanted to be among the guests, probably to interact so the entire bridal party sat on a round table just like the invited guests. The reception had no master of ceremonies, DJ made short announcements, it’s time for food, all the guests stood up at once and music continued to play. South African music was played the most.
Next was the time for speeches, the groom’s side thanked God for bringing the two families together and appreciated the people that attended the function and he’s a man of few words. The bride’s father spoke on behalf of the family, told the bride and groom that the key ingredient to a happy marriage is love and respect.
The gift he gave the bride and groom was a book titled “The secrets to a successful marriage” wow! This is a good present that one can ever gift and receive. I treasure the Bible which was given to me on my wedding day it surpasses all the gifts I received because all that l need to have a successful marriage life is wrapped up in the word of God.
Zambia is blessed with dancers; the untrained are as good as the trained. The knife girl and boy gave us a dance to remember, the bride changed her wedding dress to a single sleeve, failed to hold her dance but to join in and gave the knife bearers money.
The three layers mounted cake was cut, one layer presented to the groom’s side, the other to the bride’s side and the rest was given to the invited guests. The couple had no matron and the bride’s cousin helped them serve the parents. If you have no matron it’s the responsibility of the chief bridesmaid to help the bride and groom serve the parents.
It was all party till you drop as it was already midnight. Many guests had drunk their minds off forgetting that they had to drive home. When you attend a wedding, l know alcohol is free but don’t drink and drive.
It was a memorable wedding, we enjoyed every moment, the only dull moment was when the DJ left the reception venue before the bridal party arrived for two hours and one song was put on repeat. Everyone wondered what he was thinking, to make matters worse it was a Jozi song (South African), no idea what message was being put across. Technology has been made better and easy you can record songs more than 50 and allow them to play for even more than two hours.
The food was delicious, simple but elegant. T-bone and chicken were nicely done, macaroni in chilli chutney, baked beans, sausage rolls, samosa and cabbage salads.
The bride’s father created an ambience which made all the guests to feel at home. He shook each guest’s hand, chatted a bit and welcomed them to his home and to the wedding of his daughter.
The couple has left for South Africa to start their new home and live happily ever after.
Congratulations, study the book given by your father and you will live a successful and happy marriage life. God richly bless you and your marriage.
You can share your wedding photos with us to be used on this column and extend that lovely invitation card for us to attend.
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