• IT is argued that some men are avoiding marrying because they are discouraged by the high lobola.

By HARBGUY MWAMBAZI –

“A MAN should pay more money or make material contributions, or engage in physical labour as a sign of commitment to his bride-to-be, as well as her family.
These payments or commitments made by the groom are locally referred to as lobola (bride price) across many cultures in Zambia.
It is made as a sign of respect or appreciation to the bride’s family, when a young man is seeking a woman’s hand in marriage.”
These are words of young woman seeking marriage in Lusaka’s Chilenje Township.
Cecilia Chileshe (not real name) says a man should be made to pay heavily because some men have a tendency of mistreating women.
But Kabinga Mwale of Chelstone has a different view and she says; love is immeasurable; you cannot quantify it in monetary terms.”
These are just some of the views of some Lusaka-based ladies amidst growing debates on exorbitant lobala charges.
Recently, a Lusaka Local Court Justice Daniel Phiri said that it is inappropriate for people to ask for huge amounts of money in exchange for their daughters.
Mr Phiri said it was wrong for parents to ask for exorbitant amounts as lobola and compensation for damages after their daughters were impregnated.
This was in a case where Leyungo Pumolo 52, sued Mike Vluhukis, 33 after the defendant failed to pay K25,000 compensation for impregnating his daughter.
In 2012 Vluhukis impregnated Pumolo’s niece and was told to pay K25, 000 in damages.
Amos Chibuye of Lusaka was charged K25, 000 as bride price which he objected because it was too much on his part.
“I was charged huge sums of money to pay for my lobola, and thought that this was just too much for me.
Already my salary was not more than K2,000, which was beyond my commitment.
That is why I requested my parent and her parents to have a meeting to reduce the bridal price respectively,” he said.
A mother of Lusaka’s Libala South residential area who sought anonymity supported paying what she described as reasonable amount because she invested a lot in her three daughters.
“It is not actually selling off my daughter but it is her value, I spent a lot to bring her up to this standard and if you look at what we are asking for, it is nothing,” she said.
She claimed that it was not easy to bring up girl children hence the need to demand for their value and class.
Derrick Siame says trend of high lobola charges was a positive development because this helps to ascertain how resourceful young men were.
Normally, Mr Siame says the girl’s family would not know the young men or the levels of his financial clout until at a later stage or raising the bridal price.
He says raising the bridal price would tell the capacity of the groom to look after the bride.
It is argued that some men are avoiding marrying because they are discouraged by the high lobola.
So what is behind this sudden demand for high lobola? But it is important to understand the origin of paying lobola before concluding what has triggered this change.
Long before modern significant developments where noticed in African countries like Zambia, hoes, axes and spears were used as lobola.
According to Mwizenge Tembo’s book Satisfying Zambia Hunger for culture, the academic highlights that lobola in the case of the Ngoni was not a purchase for the girl as suggested by some people.
Prof Tembo is professor at the Department of Sociology, Bridge College in Virgin United States of America.
Rather lobola was a customary payment in form off cattle from the boy’s family to the girl’s family, to redress the balance of loss and gain between families.
Traditionally lobola was in form of an exchange belonging either of cattle or a hoe, which has proved to be a primary symbol of wealth not only in Zambia, but also in the African society.
Decades ago lobola played a pivotal role in ensuring that the young man would not only pay up but was a sign that he could take care of the girl as well.
In many instances, the man was completely new to the girl’s family who had no idea who he was or where he came from.
The girl’s family rarely depended on the girl’s testimony as proof that the suitor could financially provide for her.
Therefore, what better way of finding out than giving him an amount to pay?
To make a firm commitment to the girl, the boy gave the girl a small present called Chikole (to strength).
In Chewa the commitment was called Ulimbika and the boy made a gesture of Ulimbitsa (making strong the relationship and thereafter the girl was known to others as Wolimbitsika, which in Western culture would be similar to an engagement ring.
Similarly, the girl gave him her present called Chidani in Tumbuka, for the boy, for example, a breaded bracelet which he wore to announce to his family and community that he was now committed to a girl.
In the case of the Namwanga people, marriage customs starts with the boy making his first appearance for the girl’s family.
The man goes to the girl’s family, by appoint with a hoe nicely wrapped up in white beads with some money placed on a white small place covered with another white plate (white signifies Ulubuti-blessings).
The money given is some sort of promise to ensure that no other man appears to propose to the same girl.
This is then followed up by another visit to the girl’s family by the Shibukombe  (emissary) who presents some more money to ask for the charges for the Lobola called Impango.
A payment first had to be made to the girl’s family, in traditional Zambia in form of beads, a hoe and other smaller items and without which marriage discussions were not held.
Prof Tembo, in his another book analyses that in modern Zambia this custom is very rare, however, the payment of dowry is still practiced and is paid almost entirely in money.
He says that it is not a ‘purchase’ for the girl when lobola is paid for her as suggested by some people.
Rather as a Ngoni custom lobola was a payment in form of cattle by the boy’s family to the girl’s , to sort of redress the balance of ‘loss and gain’ between families.
In some cases it was acceptable for lobola to be paid back in the event of death or divorce.
Zambia National Traditions Councilors Association Director (ZNTCAD) Iress Phiri observed that the high lobola being charged raised questions whether tradition was still attached to the arrangement.
Ms Phiri said that many within society where over stepping the limit and thought that lobola was no longer tradition but business.
“People need to remember that this arrangement is very sacred and holds great value in our tradition as Zambians. But over the past years it is being used as business to raise capital,” she said.
She said that the bridal price should not be overstated as it only served as means for assessing the level of financial capability of the man who wants to marry.
Ms Phiri, however, urged parents to be reasonable to avoid charging exorbitant sums of money in exchange for their daughters with consideration of the traditional aspect attached to the process.
Some might argue that one cannot measure the level of competence solely based on the ability for one to pay the bridal price.
The debate has an interesting outlook to how many people would view the consistent increase of the lobola and how it can impact on the relationship in marriage making a woman property that can be bought.