A WEDDING committee is appointed to oversee the running of the function before and during the event.
They are put in place to buy an item or items which the bride and groom could not afford, by contributing a certain amount of money willfully.
As they come together they chat with the bride and groom asking them in a good manner if there are any shortfalls, so that they come in and help on the day of the wedding, the duties on the wedding day are mainly to cook, serve food and receive gifts, help out with the decorating in case they cannot afford a wedding decorator.
A wedding committee is a combination of both men and women, couples are also put as part of the committee, an amount to be contributed is agreed on by every member and on top of that any material thing can be added to lessen the cost of the budget.
The idea of wedding committee is very helpful not only to the orphans but to brides and grooms also with parents as a way to celebrate with those who are entering into marriage, it is a great joy and blessing to be married.
As the saying goes “no man is an island” this is a community initiative as a way to help brides and grooms whose family members are far away, as an employee working for someone you do not know where your next transfer will be, that’s why it is important and advisable when you are in a new area, be open, outgoing, make eye contact and be the first to say hello, “the road to the heart is the ear”.
Let’s get back to the wedding committee members, this trend slowly started to fade away, men were retired permanently from being part and parcel most of the times they struggle to sit in a meeting discussing wedding planning, even attending a wedding reception is still a challenge to most men so this means that women up to now, are still in charge.
In the Bible, Paul in his letter to Titus wrote that older women in the church should teach young women. This has been going on for so many years now.
Women who were new Christians were to learn how to have harmony in the homes by watching older women who had been Christians for some time.
We have the same need today, young wives, those entering into marriage and mothers should learn to live in a pleasing manner; how to love their husbands and caring for their children, through observing exemplary Women of God.
If you are of an age or in a position where people look up to you, make sure that example is motivating younger believers to live in a way that honors God.
All this has changed with the women who are appointed as wedding committee members as they want their presence and contribution felt.
The money they are giving as a contribution has so many strings attached, on the first meeting with the bride and groom a heavy buffet has to be prepared in their honor, a meal, soft drinks and alcohol must be present every time they meet.
These committees are divided into three categories namely the main committee, mothers committee and sisters committee, each consists of thirty five members and the meeting days are every Saturdays or Sundays for four months before the wedding celebration. Some brides are spending K700 on food for every meeting.
They make their request known, first meeting they ask the bride and groom in which way they are going to help them or what they will receive in return also as they will buy the kitchen unit, dining table and cook.
The question one may ask is who is helping who, is it the committee members helping the bride and groom or the other way round?
The bride and groom buys food stuffs for the wedding reception to cater for the invited guests and the committee members. After the function, the committee members demand to be appreciated by giving them half chicken, 5 bottles of soft drinks, 5 bottles of beer and the food they had eaten early each.
Some are demanding to receive these portions a day or before the function starts as brides and grooms started to disappear in thin air, can you blame them honestly?
The other sad part is that despite being given the food stuffs to carry home, they steal the shares meant for the invited guests when serving; why behave as if you are homeless.
When receiving the appreciation even those who never contributed a thing are in the forefront to receive.
In the past, the wedding committee members appointed a treasure to keep all the money, then a week before, the item was bought in advance; but it has been discovered that the wedding committee members after buying an item and then they use the change for their personal gain.
So now many brides are keeping the money and buying what they requested for.
If these members continue to add salt on the wound and making the bride and groom living stressed then they are not worth having, they will discourage you on the budget, always want your budget to go up, the money being spent every weekend on them and a party after the function when put together can go a long way, you can even buy what you want.
Wedding committee members haven’t you read the scripture which says ‘give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.’ (Luke 6:38 NIV).This shows that if we are critical rather than compassionate, we will also receive criticism.
If we treat others generously, graciously and compassionately, however these qualities will come back to us in full measure. We are to love others, help willfully. What are you reading or watching which has corrupted your minds?
It is more blessed to give than to receive. The role of the wedding committee members if done in a pleasing manner is very good and encouraging as they play an important role in the wedding planning process. It is every mother, father, bride and groom’s desire to have a memorable wedding that is why they really need you to come in when there is a short fall and help.
The other thing that is happening in the wedding industry is that the brides and especially groom are having forced emergency baptism (FEB), few hours before the wedding ceremony, lessons and the immersing in water is conducted within an hour, the Church doctrine requires that if one is to walk down the aisle in Church, they must be baptised.
Having the FEB will result in a dry sinner be immersed in water then a wet sinner comes out, all they want is to have a wedding.
As you start your wedding planning involve your Pastor so that you know what is required on that day, avoid unnecessary absenteeism from Church, even if your parents have been members of that Church for a long time and that you are Zambian which is a Christian nation the Church will not dance to your tune, follow the Church doctrine and have a wedding of your dreams, everything done in good time.
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