• OFTENTIMES men are embarrassed to admit and openly reveal to someone else that they are victims of abuse.
By SYLVIA MWEETWA –
YEAR in and out issues of Gender Based Violence (GBV) have continued to attract attention world-over, Zambia inclusive.
But in today’s society men too have become victims of GBV though in most times their cases remain unreported for fear of being turned into a laughing stock by members of the family or friends including the law enforcement agencies.
Most men shun to report that they were victims of abuse at the hands of their female partners which results in a lack of awareness.
On the other hand one of the reasons that these cases of male battering go unreported is due to the attitude that men have towards GBV.
Often times men are embarrassed to admit and openly reveal to someone else that they are victims of abuse at the hands of their female partners due to the male ego unless if the abuse becomes physical in nature and rather life threatening.
After all society dictates that a man should be strong as well as the head of the household. Consequently, a battered man may not even be questioned if he has been abused or not.
Many men believe that women only abuse those men who are physically and emotionally weak.
But others argue that men who are assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police, and would at times allow their assailants to go scot free .Though fewer men have sought refuge in safe institutions while fleeing from abusive women.
And many people have preconceived ideas and prejudices about domestic violence. The first thing that usually comes to their minds is an image of a man beating a woman and not the other way round .However, the picture of domestic violence can also include a woman who is battering her boyfriend or husband. As a result, only a few people realise that a man can also be a victim of GBV in an abusive relationship.
And recent studies indicate that many times women begin abusing their male partners in a non-physical way, primarily because the woman is physically stronger than the man.
Women typically begin abusing men through control tactics and manipulation, which over a long period of time can escalate to worse things such as tendencies such of physical abusive or misconduct. In less frequent instances, a woman’s abuse may spill – over into both categories of emotional, manipulative abuse and physical abuse at the same time but should this be allowed to continue.
Should the men continue to hide in the name of pretending that they are the stronger ones who cannot be easily broken yet continue to suffer silently in cases of GBV ?
Recently a female Mulungushi University Student was dragged to court for squeezing her husband’s private parts after a misunderstanding but was later convicted and sentenced to only 30 days community work by the magistrates court.
But the sentence was received with mixed feeling s with some saying that the convict deserved a stiffer punishment for her misconduct.
This is in a case in which Agnes Simbeye a student studying Public Administration at the institute of higher learning was on December 20, 2013 found guilty of assaulting Fabian Kanguya, a charge she denied.
During the trial the state called four witnesses among them was Mr Kanguya himself who narrated to Principal Resident Magistrate John Mbuzi that on December 17, 2013 while in Chingola he received information that his wife was having an affair with a member of staff at the university.Following these reports Mr Kanguya later travelled to Kabwe to establish the truth in the rumours accompanied by his brother.
Mr Kanguya told the court that on arrival at the said house after 22:00 hours while outside he recognised his wife’s voice .He heard her chatting with a man inside the house and later called out her name and asked her to open the widow.
He said after realising that she was not opening the door he decided to move to the other side of the window and later saw a man who jumped out and ran away. It was that point that his wife opened the door,.
Mr Kanguya had also travelled to see the wife with a view of reconciling with her considering that the two were previously on separation as a result of misunderstandings . And that is when he asked her what she was doing at the house in question she responded that she was just squatting with a friend.
At this point he said then requested for the phone number of the owner of the house it was during that period when the phone rung and it was under the pillow and when he checked it a picture of the man identified as Jack Chipuanuka popped up. It was the same man who was reportedly having an affair with his wife but when asked why she had the phone of the man with a picture on it she said she had borrowed it to use it for internet.
“I later grabbed the phone so that I use it as evidence but my wife wanted to grab it back with a view of destroying it and it was at that point that she pulled my manhood and squeezed me and I later pulled her close to my thighs with a view of reducing the friction and managed to slip off, “he said .
He said she followed him for the second time and again aimed at squeezing his manhood and that this time when he felt the pain was severe but he managed to get away from her and that the following day he discovered that his private parts were swollen.
But in cross examination the convict asked the complainant if they were still married but he said he was forced to take her to her relatives because of her behavior and that there were not divorced but on separation .Mr Kanguya said he was the one who had paying for her school fees while arresting officer Brian Malasha narrated how he arrested and charged Agnes with assault.
And the medical report presented in court indicated that Mr Kanguya sustained human bites on his private parts and it had swelled.
At the closure of the case the court found Agnes with a case to answer and put her on defence but she insisted that it was not true that she was having an affair saying she was just squatting with a friend and that the phone she had for Chipuanuka was borrowed to use for internet use purposes.
But Magistrate Mbuzi convicted and sentenced Agnes to 30 days community work at the courts and was expected to work for three hours five days in a week except weekends or in default face four months imprisonment .
Following the sentencing of Agnes, a debate has continued among most men saying the court was too lenient on the woman who almost killed her husband and urged courts to be impartial if more men were to report cases of abuse.
Kedrick Bwalya said the 30 days community service sentence was an insult to justice and that there was need to give the convict a stiffer punishment like the case was of men who had brutalized their wives or children.
Clearly the case of Kanguya is one of many cases who had suffered abuse at the hands of their wives .
Should men continue to hide and fail to speak out for fear of being ridiculed by society because courts would be lenient with their assailants?
