COUPLES must take the Zambia Police’s counsel of dialoguing instead of resorting to confrontation if they have to avoid gender-based violence (GBV) as a way of resolving marital disputes.
Dialogue in any relationship, especially in the home between husband and wife, is an important aspect of resolving whatever differences that may arise in the home.
But this is possible only if there is genuine love between married couples, which love is normally expressed during the time of courtship and in the early years of marriage.
Sadly in many families, this love slowly wanes as years go by, giving rise to mistrust and speculations regarding the conduct of either partner, and this normally leads to physical confrontations and worse, divorces.
In a country where an estimated 60 per cent of the population is said to be Christian, love is expected to prevail in homes, thus eliminating incidents of these ugly scenes.
This, however, is not the case as records of GBV and divorce incidences from the country’s local courts show.
GBV cases keep on mounting precisely because of the failure by people professing to be Christian to live by Christian principles which state, for instance, in the book of Ephesians that: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church (his people) and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.”
Bible believing Christians see this type of love as being the conscious act of sacrificing one’s own desires, comfort, and even well-being for the sake of another. How many homes could this type of love be found?
This leads to the division of responsibilities in the home, which has also proved to be the source of conflicts. Those who study the Bible know well how this God’s Word in written form instructs husbands to provide for their families.
This means the man, as head of a house, is supposed to work and make enough money to sufficiently provide all the necessities of life for his wife and children.
Of course this does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family. As the Bible says, a godly wife may surely do so, although providing for the family is not primarily her responsibility.
In this respect, those women who openly get angry and tell off their spouses failing to discharge this responsibility may be justified, even biblically.
Another source of conflict in many homes is the failure by men to show respect for their wives and their opinions. Again this trend is unbiblical because the same book, Ephesians, exhorts men to love their wives in the same way that they love their own bodies, feeding and caring for them.
There are three types of marriages contracted in Zambia, namely, statutory, Church and customary and, in all these, love between the couples is emphasised either before or during the wedding ceremony, no matter which culture one observes.
The Catholic Church even says that marriage is one of the sacraments, a very important institution revolving around love and thus leaving no room for GBV.
So even though the husband has to assume leadership in the home, this leadership should not be so dictatorial as to promote GBV, but should be in accordance with the example of Christ leading the church.
We just hope this is the message the police in the South are spreading during their GBV sensitisation meetings they are currently conducting in markets and townships. OPINION