•THE Chimolulas at their farm house in Misundu area of Ndola recently.

By GETHSEMANE MWIZABI –

EVEN though divorce cases in Zambia have shot through the roof in the recent past due to, among other things, unfaithfulness, drunkenness, lack of communication, violence, finances, parental interference and early marriages, there are couples who have lived for decades in marriage.
Emmanuel and Emelda Chimolula is one such couple.
They are old and grey, yet they have been happily married for more than half a century.
More than six years ago, they celebrated their golden jubilee of marriage, and now that Zambia’s celebrating 50 years of marriage, they can never be happier than this.
While, nowadays, people can walk in and out of marriage as though it was a game, the Chimolulas, have continued to stick together.
There is no doubt that a host of modern marriages are viewed as forms of lotteries, where people could cash in with lots of expectations; much of them are castles in the air.
When those wild dreams are not met, two people joined in holy matrimony would simply part, to start a new life alone or with someone else.
What has been the secret for the Chimolulas, is simply what they call “authenticity”.
“In our generation, what we saw is what we got.
Nowadays, it is not the case. One can change overnight,” said Ms Chimolula, a retired nurse and midwife.
They say, modern marriages are like candle in the wind; here today and gone tomorrow.
“It is hard to get married nowadays when you don’t have money. In my generation, people would marry without a mattress, pots and so forth, but they were happy,” she said.
Their argument is that, back in the olden days, the institution of marriage was authentic, nowadays; materialism and optimism are at the centre of marriage.
The young generation is restless and materialistic, which is part of the reason; plenty of marriages in Zambia are under so much strain.
True, the wow culture, of competition, consumerism and idealism, is now part of the popular culture.
It is a culture of keeping up appearances or one would not fit in.
Further, nowadays, courts of law are filled with divorce cases. Every day that passes by, newspapers run headlines of couples from all walks of life-divorcing.
When, the Chimolulas got married in November of 1958, they had to start from the scratch. Life was simple, without its complexities and perplexities.
What kept them together was the love they had and still have for each other. None of them was under pressure to please the other.
As a matter of fact, they were both students.
“I was based in Lusaka; Emelda was training as a nurse in Livingstone,” Mr Chimolula said.
Theirs was an arranged marriage that was done, through friends who linked them.
How it all happened.
In late 1958, one of Mr Chimolula’s Tanzanian friend and fellow student, travelled to Livingstone.
It was there that he met a down to earth-home country girl, Emelda Mwewa from Mansa, who went to Livingstone for training.
Upon meeting the girl, in one of the encounters, he proposed marriage to her immediately.
The proposal did not work out as her parents, could not agree, for fear of losing her to Tanzania within years to come.
“When I told my parents about the proposal, they out rightly refused. They told me they would never know my children,” said Mrs Chimolula, who was born in 1939.
Seeing, the proposal did not work out; Mr Chimolula’s friend came up with another idea.
He told the trainee nurse of a friend of his, who might be interested in marring her.
“He told me about Emmanuel and I liked his profile because it sounded simple and real,” she says with a faraway look behind.
A few days later and after meeting was arranged for the two to meet, they immediately struck a code.
The trainee nurse, told her parent the new man, and without hesitation, they agreed.
“My parents were happy that Emmanuel and I could live together because he came from Samfya and I from Mansa,” she said.
Thus, in 1958, the two became one. They married in the Catholic Church of which, they are devoted members.
After marriage, they moved place to place on transfers, until they finally retired from Ndola Central Hospital.
“My wife worked as midwife. I was a chief biomedical officer at the hospital,” said Mr Chimolula, who also trained in England.
The couple has now settled in Misundu area of Ndola, where they are subsistence farmers.
They had six children, but only three are remaining.
On marriage, their advice to the modern generation is to stay true and fear God.
“Unlike in our time, there are plenty of diseases now, this is because of change in behaviour patterns,” Mr Chimolula said who was born in 1931.
The old couple that has now withdrawn into subsistence farming at their family house, attributes problems in marriage to among other things, too much freedom among couples.
Their argument is that, men and women are now independent, and as such, it is hard for them to blend.
“Women now can have better jobs than men. Some men are now threatened by that fact,” he said.
With the advent of globolisation, modern day Zambian is slowly losing traditional values, which would no doubt in turn, make the country forfeit its identity.
There is definitely need to learn from the past and also embrace some new trends (beneficial) to protect the institution of marriage.
Their advice is that, marriages should not be influenced by any other cultures; saying Westerners have their own way of interpreting marriage life.
They have urged couples to love one another, be open, and resolve problems together while desisting from provoking each other at all costs
Ultimately, it is a huge achievement for Mr and Mrs Chimolula to have clocked over half a century in marriage.
Theirs is indeed for better for worse, till death does them apart.