IN the last article we laboured to explain and direct focus towards one of the great principles of parenting found in the book of Proverbs 22 v 6, of the Holy Bible “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it”.
We explore this further and try to investigate, why or how come some children brought up in a seemingly good way by wonderful parents end up us delinquent?
How is it possible that a child pointed in the way he or she should go would end up wayward, picking on the exact opposite of what their parents stand for or have drilled into them?
In the real world you encounter this paradox; sometimes you will find  or it might appears as though some children raised in a very cultured fashion, pointed in their upbringing, affirmed, loved, cared for and amply supplied with all their needs will end up as wild, the exact opposite of what you would expect.
Parents might want to think of this kind of scenario as testing; where their character, the principles they stand for and the values they cherish are tested. Although, the degree of the test will vary, each parent is expected to pass the test.
Parents going through this sort of disheartening experience can easily succumb to the idea that parenting is just a game of chance. Oh is it? Surely it is not, we all know full well that parenting is the one aspect that we cannot afford to leave to chance…or they may take a much easier and quicker route out, which is to give up on parenting all together and announce to whosoever cares to listen “it never works” .
How does one give up? You might ask. When of parents disown and denounce their children, is that not in a way giving up?
It is a known fact that quitters never win and winners never quit it follows that every parent who aims to succeed in his or her role should never entertain thoughts of giving up. As winning parents, throwing in the towel is not an option.
The rhetoric that parenting is a lot tougher than merely having babies is true, parenting is no fiction it is real and such are the scenarios we face. Yet, the question still remains unanswered. What are we to do when we have done all we know is the best and yet our children do not match up?
Here are some thoughts you might want to consider;
To begin with this should help us appreciate the fact that our children just like every human on the planet have a will, they are not robots, they are  persons with the ability to choose whatever course they choose  in this life.
This is why the goal of every parent is to direct and not to control.
Next you might want to consider two of the possible reasons why a child raised in a good home would go wild.
Does the child know he or she is loved?
Loving an obedient, well behaved child should be much easier for any parent as compared to loving a delinquent child. Wayward or not they are both children and as such deserving of our love and affection. Our love for them will be tested … Will they still be loved even when they do not do exactly as we expect? Are you sure about this?
Yes, we love and respect our children but more than that, our children need to know it. To know that they are loved, respected and that their parents desire for them to make good choices.
Did you know they are craving for our attention? Are we sure we just are giving them presence and not just presents?
It is arguably true that we all make choices basing on our sea of information. This is why we cannot afford to keep our love inert it has to be expressed and voiced out.
It is this that will serve as an anchor that can avoid a shipwreck in their (our children’s) lives.
Do we  give of our children a second chance?
Although parents are not expected to tone down on the values and principles in bringing up their sons and daughters it is strongly advised that they provide sufficient ground for children to start all over again in case of failure.
Sometimes it might be that the child fails to live up to what he or she perceives as unreasonable expectations of the parents and allows despair to creep in and kill all manner of aspiration.
In a sense the relationship that ought to exist between parents and their sons and daughters should be that where when they (child) makes a mistake, they are more comfortable running to their parents than anywhere else .Please understand this not to say that the parent should excuse or legitimise their misdeeds but simply to provide them with the platform to start all over again.
Once these two aspects have been considered then you can have another shot at it and observe the positive outcome.
The writer is a Parent and Sunday school teacher for queries and comments email tendakamba@yahoo.com or text 0955 843443.