THE one vital ingredient that every parent will ever need in their quest to bring up or raise their children successfully is discipline.
It is not surprising these days to find not only children but also parents who resent the idea of discipline. Obviously, part of this stems from misconceptions and incorrect portrayals of the subject from past generations.
However, it is always good to think of discipline as a great tool that helps to bring out the best out of our children and not merely as spankings, rules or punishments to enforce parental authoritarianism.
Pursuing and gaining the right perspective on parental discipline is a very important step to applying it correctly.
In the Bible, God`s holy Word, we are admonished not to make light of the Lord`s discipline and not to lose heart when he rebukes, why?
Because “the Lord disciplines those he loves”. It would then be perfectly in order to suggest that to discipline a child is in a sense demonstrating parental love and care for them.
Please understand that at the heart of every authentic discipline is this immense aspiration to see our children come up or turn up right because as parents nothing delights us more! Think of it this way, you (as a parent) are aware of imminent danger that your children are going to be facing, yet we do nothing to warn them or protect them, would it then be perfectly in order  for one to think of as a less loving dad or mom?
The answer is a definite big YES. The same goes for every parent that refuses to discipline his or her own children. To fail to exercise parental discipline is in a way to careless.
Truth be told, every mom and dad desperately yet secretly yearns to be a best friend to their own children but the challenge comes in when it comes to applying discipline. Not many parents can stand being unpopular, at least not in their own home, so they end up trading discipline for `best friend tag` which is cheap and does not last.
Perhaps these parents have to listen to the allegory of discipline and popularity.
Some parents might already know that discipline and popularity do not usually start out as best of friends.
If you would recall correctly in the allegorical story and indeed in your own lives as parents, these two (discipline and popularity) would never sit together to dine, never looked each other eyeball-to-eyeball.
It always seemed like when discipline appeared, popularity would always come up with a reason to leave the scene often times for flimsy excuses.
Behold: What a contrast in their relationship several years later the two (popularity & discipline) are like inseparable twin sisters. Can you see popularity patting discipline on the back and whispering `thank you for being an all-weather friend, would you please find it in your heart to forgive me for all the taunting in those early days, pardon me for my foolish arrogance, I honestly did not know that you meant it for good`.
Look! Yes look again and see a beautiful re-assuring smile off discipline that seems to say it is okay, that is the past and so they lived happily ever after.
It should be mentioned that for discipline to be enforced successfully, it should be done in an environment where genuine authentic relationship and connection exists between the parent and the child, otherwise, it would be no different from totalitarianism.
It is absolutely vital that parents pursue to cultivate a health connection with their sons and daughters, this way discipline is only auxiliary (helping to streamline and guide behaviour) and not the main subject.
Lastly and not the least, dads and moms should not leave the aspect of discipline too late; it is not something they can afford to keep putting forward. Yes it is true that, at whatever stage and age (the child is at), there are appropriate disciplinary measures and techniques that can be applied.
The rationale behind this is that it will without doubt sound or feel odd for parents to suddenly wake up one morning and begin issuing new rules and ultimatums.
You agree that if this was started early enough the parental philosophy would already be something the children are familiar with.
It is clear this is not an exhaustive list of tenets of parental discipline but they are definitely among the strong pillars and should be of great help in our pursuit to effectively discipline our children.
(The author is a parent and Sunday school teacher. For comments and queries call or text 0955 843443 or email tendakamba@yahoo.com).