THERE is no perfect marriage in this whole world, because there are no perfect people.
All our marriages are contaminated with problem after problem here and there because the people who make up these marriages are all sinners, as the Bible says, “For all have sinned” [Romans 3:23].
The marriages which seem to be doing well are those which comprise couples who have mastered how to resolve marital conflicts. How do they do this?
The first step when a problem occurs in a marriage; the husband and wife should sit down and address the problem as soon as possible.  They should wait.
“Do not let the sun go down on your wrath; neither give place to the devil” [Ephesians 4:26, 27].  In some marriages, the husband and the wife pretend to as though all is well when in-fact they are bitter inside.
The second step is that the couple should recognise that just as a coin has two sides, every problem has two sides also.
There is the husband’s side of the story and there is the wife’s side also.  The couple should amicably look at both sides in an effort to find the solution.
I would like to introduce another side of the story – this is the right side.
“Let each of you look out not only for his own interest, but also for the interest of others” [Philippians 2:4].
How do you react as a husband or wife when there is a problem in your marriage?
The husband and the wife should look at the third side; this side will incorporate the interests of the whole family; the husband, the wife and the children inclusive.  How many times do we see the children being left out?
How many times do we the couple selfishly decides to divorce without putting the welfare of the children and other dependants in their custody into consideration?
Where do you think the majority of the street kids in Kitwe, Lusaka and many other towns in Zambia come from?
When divorce takes place, sadly to say; the children remain in a balance.
The husband and the wife should freely talk about the problem with the aim of trying to see the other side of the story.
They should exchange gracefully and lovingly in order to discover each other’s real needs.
As the husband and the wife analyse the problem, each partner should put the spouses’ needs and that of the children the above their own.
They should remember that the root of every marital problem is putting ‘self first.’  “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t come from your desires that battle within you?” [James 4:1], and the solution to every problem is putting your spouse to be first above your own needs [Romans 15:1, 2].
The couple should follow the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, “For even Christ did not please Himself” [Romans 15:3].
The next step, the couple should decide on the plan of action.  They should list all possible options, and then decide on the best option, it should be a win-win solution.
The one who is found to be at fault should openly, in humbleness of heart say. “I am very sorry”.
“Confess your faults one to another that you may be healed” [James 5:16].  The question where was my mate wrong does not arise.
The important question which the husband and wife should ask is . “Where was I wrong?
Then the couple should pray with and for each other.  “Confess and pray for one another that you may be healed” [James 5:16].
When all known wrongs are put right, we may believe that God will answer our petitions.
Our own merit will never commend us to the favour of God; it is the worthiness of Jesus that will save us, His blood that will cleanse us; yet we have a work to do in complying with the conditions of acceptance.
My brothers and sisters, we need to understand that in every home the devil is at work to create strife.
When the couple prays, they are inviting God to use His powerful hand to conquer the devil.
When the storms rise in your home, Christ the Prince of peace will rise and say. “Peace be still.”
My favorite writer Ellen G White wrote in her book Step to Christ page 96, “The darkness of the evil one encloses those who neglect to pray.
The whispered temptations of the enemy entice them to sin; and it is all because they do not make use of the privileges that God has given them in the divine appointment of prayer.
Why should the sons and daughters of God be reluctant to pray, when prayer is the key in the hand of faith to unlock heaven’s storehouse, where are treasured the boundless resources of Omnipotence?
Without unceasing prayer and diligent watching we are in danger of growing careless and of deviating from the right path.
So, why don’t you invite Jesus in your marriage today and ask Him to bring a lasting reconciliation.
This same Jesus who transformed the wedding at Cana is ready to transform your marriage into something better.
The presence of Jesus in your marriage will make a very big difference.
For comments; Email: brysonkatele@yahoo.com Cell: +260977 772697; +260975 772697