TODAY marriage,motherhood and fatherhood seem to be the only life aspirations available for some urban youths and this has had a huge impact in ways that we may not know.
The pressures and dangers facing both girls and boys can be extreme, yet at the same time social life style in some communities have exposed them to unhealthy environments.
Chibale (not real name) now 20 years old was forced by her mother and father to live under the care of her boyfriend’s parents after she fell pregnant at 17 years while in grade 11.
In September 1997 the Ministry of Education introduced a re-entry policy and announced that schoolgirls who became pregnant would no longer be expelled but allowed to complete their education.
Because of the re-entry policy, Chibale was lucky because she was allowed to attend classes until such a time that her pregnancy would not allow.
Despite the wonderful opportunity that the policy offered her, Chibale did not go back to class because high township life caught up with her even after giving birth.
Chibale’s story is not new to many young girls whose dreams have been shattered due to peer pressure that has resulted in teenage pregnancy or early marriage.
However, it is also evident that some parents and guardians have consented to arrangements such as Chibale’s that have put the future of girls and boys in jeopardy.
An arranged marriage is where both parties have consented to the union and are free to refuse if they want to.
One familiar practice by parents some decades ago saw girls who fell pregnant being forced to live under the custody of their partner’s familiesand all responsibilities that followed, where expected to be met by them.
Those were times when some families that struggled financially, or coming from a low socio-economic background would have their girl child locked out of educational opportunities and force them into early marriage.
This was also because communities then, strongly believed that the lives of girls were weaved around marriages and so, educating girls was seen as a waste of time and resources as they had to cook, and look after their siblings at home.
Certainly, this was a complex phenomenon also associated with inequitable gender stereotypes these parents assigned to the girlchild.
Surprisingly, this is still happening within our communities as some families continue to embrace the social norm practicing it from one generation to another.
Studies show that Zambia has a high prevalence of child marriages with 31 per cent of women aged 20-24 years married off by the age of 18.
Child marriages have shown a decline with good interventions by the government and civil society with cases of those below the age of 16 reducing further.
But both girls and boys less than21 years are still vulnerable to live under one roof as partners because,their lives must becenteredonpreparing their lives for a better future.
And so, this is the picture of some adolescents in both rural and urban Zambia who fall victim to early pregnancy and because of their parents’ disappointment and anger,they are forced to leave their parents’ home regardless of whether they are psychologically prepared or not.
Girls, who marry or enter informal unions before 18 or slightly below 22, are at increased risk of violence from their partners and their partners’ families.
Forced unions or marriages can lead to emotional pressure from their partners or in-laws and can also limit their ability to make decisions about their own lives leading into GBV and crimes of passion.
Recently, a 21-year-old man of Mbala killed his 19-year-oldwife in what was described as a domestic dispute.
Looking at the age group of the young couple involved, one would conclude that the possibility of this marriage was not rooted in love or by choice.
These are matters of unions that families in communities have continued to create that are characterised by violence and abuse.
The United Nations Children’s Emergence Fund (UNICEF), also observes that such unions are associated with severe adverse health and social outcomes that include compromised sexual reproductive and maternal health, increased risk of depression, and suicide among others.
And so these marriages of despair have exposed both girls and boys to greater risks of sexual, physical and psychologicalviolence.
One marriage counselor shared how he has been encouraging some parents not to send off their children to live with the family of the boy responsible for their daughter’s pregnancy.
He said girls falling pregnant should not result in parents forcing the other family to keep their child until they give birth, let alone on force the two to live together.
‘‘There is life after being a young mother and we need to ensure that our children are encouraged to fulfill their education.
Raising young people is difficult but forcing them into early marriages is not the solution. Parents are in the forefront demanding for pregnancy damage expenses and promoting unhealthy arrangements for their children.
Parents are in the forefront demanding for pregnancy damage expenses and promoting unhealthy arrangements for their children.
A young boy impregnating a fellow peer should not result into forced unions because these are two individual who may just be faced with peer pressure or may have lacked some parental care at some point in life.
Girls who are not psychologically prepared for these unions can experience suicidal thoughts during pregnancy and up to one year after pregnancy.
We have also heard and seen young couples kill each other because they cannot bear the stress associated to being young fathers and mothers,’’ He explained
As for Chibale, her journey to continue living under the care of her partner’s family became a nightmare, she was left with no choice but to go back to her family despite their disappointment.
Making the world a better place lies in our hands of everyone in the community time we all take responsibilities for the things happening around us.
We all have the responsibility of making an impact in the society by ensuring that we build healthy couples who are psychologically prepared.
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