EACH day, the safety and well being of some children across the nation are threatened by child abuse and neglect. This is evident from the news on child neglect, defilement, cruelty, child labour and many inhuman acts on children that we continue to witness.
Another shift is the increase in female headed single-parent families, with some homes experiencing the high rates of poverty among challenges.
Family experts have began to recognise and examine the crucial role that fathers play in children’s development and family dynamics.
The sad part about it is that, society has witnessed a number of absentee fathers both in dual and single parenting families.
More importantly, is the girl child who is faced with sexual gender based violence that society is still wrestling to address.
Njiyezi Nsama, a former student of psychology observes that giving children the emotional security helps’ them sustain their well being for the rest of their lives.
“Making family your top priority entails standing against an norm where material and work holism are flourishing but should be managed when parenting.
As working parents you may find yourselves not advancing at the rate you want in your career as some of your friends or colleagues for a period of time but knowing you’re doing the right things for your children, by giving them the attention towards their development is key,” Ms Nsama explains
She said the development of a girl child poses a challenge with the absence of the father and has called for men to take fatherhood seriously and commit themselves and the time it takes to make an enriching family experience.
“While parenting alone can be difficult, it is important that core parenting is extended to men to help the girl child, as fathers play a major role in their daughters’ development and depending on the nature of their relationship, they can have a significant impact on what their daughters become,” She said.
It is a good thing to become ambitious and pursue your career and businesses but when we have children we must make adjustments and give them the attention they need so that we don’t blame ourselves as society in future.
Today’s modern parenting in pursuant of dreams has seen grandmothers taking the responsibility of parenting and the absence of fatherhood and motherhood missing in most children.
The challenge is worse in homes where teenage pregnancy is experienced as those responsible are either too young to help in parenting or are run away fathers.
Similarly, core parenting with committed family men elsewhere has proved to be a challenge with some fathers refusing to take responsibility of their children,” Observes Ms Nsama.
Family experts have seen the importance of father-girl parenting and observe the following: .
Fathers shape their daughters’ self-esteem
Fathers play a key role in their daughters; psychological development from the moment they are born. The difference between a loving, attentive father and an absent father can have a huge impact on how a child grows up.
When fathers are absent, either physically or emotionally, their daughters are affected in many negative ways.
When fathers are present and loving, their daughters develop a strong sense of self and often become more confident in their abilities.
Fathers influence their daughters’ body images
Experts have observed that a person’s body image is the way they view themselves physically and often has no bearing on the way they are seen by others.
When fathers show their daughter unconditional love, a father can help foster a positive body image in his daughter that will stick with her for much of her life.
Fathers influence their daughters’ behavior
Further studies have shown that fathers also have a large influence on their daughters when it comes to the development of behavioral traits.
Fathers who show love to their daughters and accept them as they are help foster a positive sense of self. Absentee fathers on the other hand, can lead their daughter lacking self love.
More importantly, lack of communication between a father and his daughter can have lasting effects on the way a daughter interacts socially.
Ms Nsama also agrees that daughters who exhibit good communication skills regularly with their fathers have no challenges in communicating better with both male and female individuals as they interact in society.
Fathers show their daughters how women deserve to be treated
Studies show that although mothers play a critical role in the lives of their daughters, much of what women learn about life comes from their fathers.
From an early age, daughters are said to pick up on their way how fathers treat other women especially their mothers.
“Fathers who show love to their wives and daughters teach them that women should be loved, cared for, and treated with respect by the men in their lives. These are the women we see report any form of abuse they experience as they can easily identify with the love that was shown to them, ’’Ms Nsama noted
.Fathers help define future romantic relationships for their daughters
Similar studies show that at an early age, a girl learns what to look for in a romantic partner by watching her own father’s actions, behaviors, and traits.
Additionally healthy father daughter relationships are associated with more positive and less risky sexual behavior.
Ms Nsama has observed that with the high number of teenage pregnancies, most girls who have a healthy relationship with their fathers learn to express their thoughts.
“Also when we encourage our daughters to express themselves, gender based violence will be nowhere near them as they will address any disrespectful actions that they come across,” She added
Fathers help define their daughters’ non romantic relationships
Being a father means being a role model and setting the standard for how their daughters will view other men.
A father who shows love to the women in his life and are nurturing and compassionate can help his daughter avoid unhealthy relationships and friendships with men.
Fathers are role models for their daughters
Family experts have observed how daughter who don’t have healthy relationship with their fathers may be more likely to engage in aggressive behavior, develop unhealthy relationships with others, coupled with psychological issues.
Recently a story of a man in court who withdrew from marriage on grounds that his wife was violent and abusive made sad reading.
Ms Nsama said women who grow up in homes where love, caring is absent respond with anger, hate, and psychological problems.
And a Father of four girls who decided to remain anonymous said, with so many orphans and neglected children in families, defilement and incest in our communities can be addressed with proper father figures.
“No one is born with a manual to know how to care for children, communicating with a clear purpose when they error is what is important,” he said.
He said the ever changing landscape of social media has many challenges when parenting girls and this is why we have seen a lot of cyber bullying on women and girls.
He said men must not only father children but learn how to be responsible fathers who should engage their girls through physical affection such as creating time out with them.
It is important to note as parents that, children will be happier, safer and more able to develop to their full potential when they grow up in caring and protective families and get the love and attention that they deserve.
As one family expert says, there is a peace in life that comes from having no regrets. Let’s count the cost and invest in our families first. The world will wait jessiengm@gmail.com