WHILE society sympathises with sexually abused children and pushes for the punishment of the offenders, there is usually not so much attention given to effects of sexual abuse on the children afterwards.
Various studies have shown that child sexual abuse can be disturbing and damaging, especially when the person who has abused a child is someone who is known to and trusted by the child.
In a research conducted by “The Truth Project,” the impact of the sexual abuse on children can vary from case to case and it is important for parents and the guardians to understand that the impact can affect all aspects of their children’s lives for a lifetime.
The Project report highlights that sexual abuse on children is disturbing and damaging when the person who has abused a child is someone who is trusted to protect and nurture that child who they have ended up abusing.
The report further explains that sexual abuse can cause deep and lasting harm to children.
Not just to their emotional, physical and sexual development, but also to their trust in adults, especially if the person who abused them is someone they love; someone who should have protected them.
The report explains that the impact of sexual abuse varies from child to child and the resilience and bravery of children in the face of abuse is remarkable but for many the damage is usually very big, with the impact affecting all aspects of their lives, for years if not a lifetime.
For some child victims and survivors sexual abuse, they endure the effects of the abuse throughout adult life.
Child sexual abuse can affect psychological and physical well-being, family and intimate relationships, faith, and education and career.
Victims and survivors can also be two to four times more likely to become victims of sexual, physical or emotional abuse again in their lifetime.
Another effect of child sexual; abuse is the damaging impact it can have on the ability to form and maintain close, loving relationships, both intimate and platonic.
It can affect the relationships that victims and survivors have at the time of the sexual abuse and for the rest of their lives.
“These child sexual abuse victims may find it difficult to talk to partners, family and friends about the sexual abuse, preventing others from being able to help and offer support,” the Truth Project report states.
Child sexual abuse can cause difficulties in forming intimate and trusting relationships because relationships can remind victims and survivors of the sexual abuse, and there may be emotional barriers that make it difficult to talk about sexual abuse with partners.
“Because when I talk about it I can see it, feel it, hear it and taste it. I try to say the words. I feel dirty inside, I feel more dirty telling you about it because it hurts me inside, it really pains,” one child sex abuse victim and survivor told the Truth Project.
This victim is not alone as around 28 per cent of victims and survivors have told the Truth Project that they have had difficulties with trust and intimacy.
“I have been embarrassed all my life over this. I have never, ever told any of my family. I told my wife last year, and this is about 70 years later. To be honest with you, when I got married, for the first two years, instead of being intimate with my wife, I used to go down to the hotel and get drunk and come home and go to bed, because every time I saw my wife, I used to think about the woman who sexually abused me, and it has been upsetting me all my life,” one other victim said.
The report stated that some victims and survivors feel that the child sexual abuse they suffered has damaged their relationships with their parents or siblings.
This may be because the perpetrator was a family member or a close friend of the family, or they may have disclosed the abuse they suffered to a family member or sibling and felt that they were not believed.
“I tried to tell my mother what happened and she just slapped me saying it did not happen. I went to sleep and locked my mind away from it and from that day, I didn’t remember it. My mind had totally closed up and just like my mother said when she slapped me, It did not happen,” another victim told the Truth Project.
The Truth Project Inquiry also established that child sexual abuse can make victims and survivors feel responsible for changes to family dynamics and the well-being of family members.
Child sexual abuse can also disrupt friendship groups and lead to bullying or being talked about by peers, causing loneliness and isolation.
“Dorothy did not play with other children at school; she didn’t think it was safe for them to be friends with her. The playground supervisors would ask her why she did not want to play with the others but she just said she wanted to be left alone and refused to say anything,” this is according to a summary by the Truth Project as told by one victim and survivor.
Some victims and survivors have seen their familial relationships suffer because their parents, siblings or other relatives knew sexual abuse was taking place but failed to intervene.
One other victim told the Project inquiry that her mother was aware her father was abusing her.
Before the mother left for a visit somewhere, she took her into her bedroom and showed her a big iron bar and said to her ‘if anybody tries to do anything to you, hit them with this.’
She thought it was a strange thing to say but realised her mother knew what her father might do.
To-date, the child sexually abused girl is annoyed with her mother about that she did not protect her and her siblings from their father’s abuse.
Child sexual abuse can also affect the parents of victims and survivors. The mental health of parents can be affected because they feel responsible for having been powerless and unable to protect their child.
“My mother’s mental health is still really bad up to now. We have reconciled but the long-lasting effects on her have been big such that it affects her ability to be the ideal grandma figure,” a child said.
The Truth Project reports that one of the saddest consequences of child sexual abuse is the damaging effect it can have on parenthood.
Some victims and survivors fear that the sexual abuse they suffered as a child will mean that they will not be safe parents or that others will consider them to be a danger to their own children.
Some victims and survivors have talked about not being able to change nappies or even hug their own children.
Child sexual abuse can also lead some victims and survivors to be especially protective of their own children and grandchildren.
They are determined to make sure that their children and grandchildren feel loved and cared for, and that their own abuse will not have a negative effect on them.
Victims and survivors of child sexual abuse cope and respond to abuse in different ways, and their response can change over time.
For some, the psychological harm can be at least as severe ‒ and at times more enduring ‒ than the physical injuries sustained during the sexual abuse.
Around the time of sexual abuse, children can experience a range of emotions, including fear, sadness, anger, guilt, self-blame and confusion. Victims and survivors can feel humiliated or self-conscious, and will often not feel equipped or able to talk about what has happened.
The Inquiry was also told that child sexual abuse can have a profound psychological effect that lasts into and throughout adult life.
Existing research has linked child sexual abuse with low self-esteem and mental health conditions.
The most common issues reported were depression, lack of trust in authority, thoughts of suicide, anxiety, self-harming and attempted suicide. Children can sustain physical injuries during sexual abuse.
Supportive and positive responses from families, friends, caregivers and professionals have been found to help recovery.
Comments: moongacharity10@gmail.com