FOR an ordinary woman trading in the market place, waking up early in the morning to make a living through selling various items is important.
Like every working mother, such traders have to rely on some relatives, friends, caregivers and neighbours to take their children to school and later on look after them.
The number of single parent or normal households in which the single parent or both parents are working, has continued to increase.
Whether it is an unexpected business, busy work schedule, church or social meeting, there probably will be times when children will have to be left at home on their own, at a childcare centre or with a neighbour.
The hectic schedules and deadlines for working parents to make ends meet, is part of the stress that has led to such parents failing to be emotionally attached with their children.
As unpleasant and frightening as it may sound for parents to think about the possibility of their child being hurt by a predator, it is important that they talk to their children about being cautious as they play, to protect themselves from abuse and violence.
According to studies, about 90 per cent of children who are victims of abuse know their abuser.
This is because such people, such as those who sexually abuse children, are more likely to be family members or people you and your child knows well and are less likely to be strangers.
In general, studies show that it is not a good idea to leave children younger than 10 years old at home alone as every child is different.
But at that age, most children are said not to have the maturity and skills to respond to an emergency if they are alone.
According to UNICEF, every child has the right to a fair chance in life.
But millions of children are trapped in an intergenerational cycle of disadvantage that puts their future and the future of their societies at risk.
A former student in early childhood learning observes that every home and school should teach children about safety and protection measures.
Lindy Mutale said parents and guardians must take interest in everything that involves their children and also have good listening skills towards their children.
“We need to educate our children to be more assertive in order to protect themselves against abduction, exploitation and child abuse that we are seeing in our neighborhoods,” she said.
Mr Mutale said most importantly, the home must be an environment where children can be assured of trust and support and have the assurance that their needs would be fulfilled.
She said to meet the requirements that UNICEF expects to see in every nation, the future generation, which is today’s children, must be protected from all forms of violence and abuse as they are taught to be assertive and cautious.
Ms Mutale noted that children can sometimes be vulnerable but for their custodians, it is only natural to worry about the children’s safety and their general wellbeing by equipping them with the right information.
Ms Mutale said scholars of children have noted how, it is one thing when the children are old enough to talk and tell adults everything that goes on.
However, it is another thing when they are too young and too small to provide feedback.
“With cases of abuse on the increase, it is important to educate our children about all the tactics that perpetrators continue to use to curb the vices. More videos on social media seen are raising awareness of child abuse and this is another way we can get our children to open up and share how they should respond when they find themselves in such situations,” she said.
Ms Mutale said it is also important not to scare the children but to communicate to them that not all adults can take advantage of them, but there are some adults in whom they can confide.
Studies show that in some cases, children are afraid that they will get in trouble if they tell their parents about something they are seeing and it is this fear that can be reinforced by the person who is harming them.
However, Ms Mutale said it is important for parents to help children to realise that there are other adults who can help them if they do not want to talk to their parents who could also be involved in doing something that concerns them.
She said this in relation to the rising cases of incest, defilement, child assault and exploitation that are being recorded across of the country.
“We have children being abused and exploited in homes, churches, schools, and also by their older friends. As a result, there is need to give them a platform to share what they do when they interact with others.
She said there also children who are sexually abused or bullied by teenagers under 18 years old, or another child who may not fully understand the impact of their actions and these are things that people have heard and seen happening in some schools and communities.
Ms Mutale appealed to parents to talk to their children on the challenges of all forms of violence that may affect them.
She said it is important to talk to the children about the dangers of harming other people in any form.
Scholars say children are born as healthy sexual beings and just as they are curious about things that surround us, they will also be curious about their bodies and other people’s bodies.
Therefore, caretakers of children are reminded to be helpful and acknowledge all the healthy sexual developments and communicate to them the right behaviour and other types of behavior that may be of concern.
Mr Mutale said children should be communicated to about a parent’s preferred neighbourhood boundaries, choosing important landmarks where they are allowed to be found in.
Ms Mutale said it is important to explain to the children why parents feel insecure about them being in certain places than leaving it open for them to guess.
She said:
Interact regularly with your neighbours. We are living in times where a good number of people do not know their neighbours.
Scholars have emphasised the need to tell our children whose homes they are allowed to visit.
Don’t drop your children alone at fairs or parks. One trending habit by parents over the weekend is leaving their children without the care of an adult at a social event as they also proceed for other business.
Studies show that these are places where abusers and strangers take advantage of children left without care.
Teach your children to be alert about strangers. Parents must help their children on how to respond to strangers that approach them for help or directions.
Some strangers have been known to study the playing patterns of children as they hang around with their friends.
Let your children inform you about their whereabouts. Impart good communication skills in children so that you are aware of their whereabouts as they socialise with their friends and also let them ask for your permission when playing where you cannot easily reach out to them.
Like one author rightly puts it, when we talk with our children about sexual abuse, we are not only taking a proactive step towards protecting them; we are building our relationship with them
grounded in honesty and trust.
It is a win-win situation.
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