IT is amazing that some people who are related through their wives could differ over marital problems caused by one of them.
Relations through marriage include those of sons, daughters, fathers and mothers in-laws, brothers and sisters-in-laws and brothers and sisters-in-marriage to mention but a few.
Usually, it is people who are closely related to the women with marital problems who differ with men who marry from their families especially those concerning divorces and abandoning of their wives and families.
At the time of getting married, parents and some relatives of the women who were getting married were very happy and they wished the couples success and if the marriage was blessed in church, the couples vowed that they would be together for better or for worse until death separated them.
However, it is saddening that in many occasions, marital problems which lead into some men to divorce or abandon the women they married only a few years or months after marrying them were many.
It is even more saddening if the men abandoned or divorced the women they had children with within that short period.
Ordinarily, it was usual that some parents and relatives would become bitter with the men who broke away with their family members.
While it was usual for parents and relatives to differ with such men, it was unimaginable that people who were related through marriages such as brothers-in-marriage would differ because one of them had marital problems with his spouse.
Last Sunday, I was in Masala Township in Ndola where I was invited to attend a traditional ceremony where a man was to take his wife who was still staying with her mother after marrying her until she gave birth to his home.
It was around 14.00 hours when I got to this home and I found only a few invited guests gathered because the ceremony was scheduled to start at 16.00 hours.
One of the invited guests I found was my brother-in-law and because there was still two hours before the ceremony could start, he suggested that we go to a bar to have one or two so that when we came back, we would find that the ceremony was about to start.
I agreed to the suggestion and shortly, we were at one of the bars at Masala center where we found other people who were to attend the ceremony drinking and we took a table next to them.
About 15 or 20 minutes later, two men who were probably in their mid 30s or early 40s came in and walked to the table next to us and started greeting the people there.
The men were still greeting when I heard one of the people they found yell to one of them:”Wilansosha iwe …….., (insult)uli cipuba sana,”(Don’t talk to me you c…….(insult), you are very foolish).
I looked at the man who insulted the man who was greeting him while wagging a finger at him.
The man who was insulted responded:”Kanshi walitumpa sana iwe c…… (insult). Ndekuposhafye elyo watampa ukuntuka? (So you are very stupid you ……. (insult). I am just greeting you and you start insulting me?)
The man who started insulting the other man took a swig from his beer before he retorted:”Ulimbwa iwe. Bushe walingumfwapo ine ukukuposha olo ukulanda naiwe mulishino nshiku. Nshifwaya ukulanda nefipuba ine,” (You are a dog. Have you ever heard me greeting you or talking to you in recent times? I don’t want to talk to fools.)
I saw the man who was being insulted lose his temper as he charged towards the man who was insulting him but the other man who came with him held him and said:” Imwe guys mulindupwa tamufwile ukucitefyo mulecita. Kuti muletukishanya shani mu cintu bwingi?”(You guys are related; you are not supposed to be doing what you are doing. How can you be insulting one another in public?)
The man who started the insults then commented that the person he was shouting was a fool because he abandoned his wife after staying with her for only a short time after the wedding and having a child with her.
It was then that the man who was being shouted at told the other man that it was not his business to be concerned with what he did because he (the man who was shouting at him) was not his relative but someone he knew through his former wife who was the sister to his wife.
“Iwe walifye cufi munandi. Kuti cakusakamika shani nga naleka sister wa mukashi obe?”(You were just my brother-in-marriage. Why should it bother you if I divorced the sister to your wife?), said the man.
The other man wagged his head before he retorted:”Ee, Kabili walibelela amaule,” (Yes, after all you are used to whores).
You are just my brother-in-marriage. Why should it bother you if I divorced the sister to your wife!
Yes, after all you are used to whores!
This was interesting and as an eavesdropper, I wanted to hear more.
I was waiting to hear more when upon hearing this remark, the man who was insulted smashed his beer bottle and again charged towards the man who was shouting at him, but again, the man he had come with who turned himself into a pacifier held him.
The pacifier then told his friend to leave the place to avoid a looming punch-up, but the other man told the pacifier to let his friend loose and let him fight if he was a man enough.
“He can’t threaten me. Leave him if he is a man,” challenged the man.
The pacifier pleaded with the two men to calm down and sort their problem amicably.
The peace maker released his friend who took a seat while shaking his head with rage and complaining that he did not see the reason why his brother-in-marriage was bitter with him because the woman he deserted was not related to him but to his wife.
It was after hearing this that the man revealed why he was bitter with his brother-in-marriage.
According to him, it was embarrassing that his brother-in-marriage abandoned his wife with whom he had a child who was about two years now for no apparent reason.
He said his brother-in-marriage married his wife’s sister (his sister-in-law) at a colorful wedding whose reception was held at one of the posh lodges in town.
The man explained that before the wedding reception, the marriage was blessed at a named Pentecostal church in Masala Township where many people of fame including politicians were invited and it was disappointing that his brother-in-marriage abandoned his wife only after staying with her for just a short time and after having a child with her.
To be continued next week.