By Jessie Ngoma-Simengwa

“IF you see something, speak out.” This saying has so much truth in it and needs to be given the attention it deserves by everyone in as far as combating all forms of violence is concerned.
The fight against sexual and gender based violence (SGBV) in Zambia needs to take a new approach as the cases continue swelling.
In this regard, participatory approaches that include family and community mobilization appear to be a way forward for all forms of violence prevention that has taken a lead in our society.
According to research, one in five women and one in 13 men report having been sexually abused during their childhood.
Child sexual abuse entails forcing or enticing a child or young person to take part in sexual activities, whether they are aware of the act or not.
SGBV takes the form of physical, mental, social or economic abuse against a person because of that person’s gender and includes violence that may result in physical, sexual or psychological harm and suffering to the victim.
Sadly, a number of cases go unreported to relevant authorities.
Angelina Halende is a psycho social counselor who observes that to break the silence of SGBV, a practical approach by families and the community will assist in the fight against the vice as they play an important role in the personal growth of individuals.
Ms Halende says despite persistent and continuous efforts by different stake holders, the vice has worsened with women and girls being the most affected.
‘‘As a counselor who has worked with both women and girls who have suffered all forms of abuse, one of the obstacles in achieving this cause is as a result of some families and community members concealing information about what transpires,’’ she says.
Ms Halende warns that concealing a sexual crime against a child in a family could result in an arrest from cases of defilements and rape in some families which are not reported.
She says some families prefer to settle the matter outside court as the perpetrators could be the bread winners.
Cases are also hidden out of families fearing the shame and stigma that may be attached to it.
Ms Halende, who describes SGBV as an invisible struggle, says the experience of this nature is unspeakable as it causes so much emotions.
Additionally, she says there may be fears of family members being ostracized by non-family members, as the prescription of African traditional practice is that problems should be settled within the family circles to protect the family from public shame and humiliation.
Ms Halende said children who are exposed to violence or abused during their childhood have some positive indicators of them being perpetrators when no help was rendered during the time of the abuse.
‘‘It is important for families not to conceal information when a child is abused but to help facilitate for counseling as this rebuilds one ’s self love,” she says.
She explains that concealing information by communities and families has contributed largely a situation which has led to victims living with the effects of an event that happened in their childhood, especially if they could not seek support when it happened.
A good number of perpetrators of violence, if not counseled like they should have been during their childhood and into their adulthood, have problems in relationships,’’ Ms Halende explains.
She says it is important for families to monitor the overall progress of a child after abuse as this has a bearing on adulthood.
She says counseling can help process past emotions and address issues of trust and love that may resurface in future.
Equally, Ms Halende says there is need for families to embrace group therapy counseling sessions as this resolves the painful experiences.
The journey takes time and requires one to depend on others by being open.
Child abuse has a tremendous impact on lifelong health well is being if left untreated by families.
Ms Halende says to break the silence, a practical approach by families and the community will assist in the fight against gender and sexual based violence as they play an important role in the personal growth of individuals.
Counseling victims of abuse and painful experiences in their childhood is a big investment as a primary prevention of sexual based violence and gender based violence in adult life.
Opportunities for early identification of child abuse and preventive strategies must be embraced by all stakeholders.
Additionally, establishment of strong institutions and guidance to address abuse is beneficial for both the individual and society.
At community level, local protection systems must be established, owned and led by the community members who are elected through the local system in place.
Ms Halende has implored the importance of communities coming up with programmes that will help fight GBV and SBGV in all its forms.
She says it takes people in the community with the heart to discover the lapses, build, lobby and advocate in churches and community platforms, and publicise the vices that are taking place.
People working in such situations should be supporte.
‘‘Counseling in African settings needs to adopt holistic approaches such as involving parents, community and other relevant institutions when dealing with survivors of abuse, rather than to work in isolation,” Ms Halende says.
She says sometimes children who experience abuse do not speak out till later on when they become independent.
Breaking the silence for women who are being abused in their marriages and relationships is a challenge too as the cultural aspect entails no washing of dirty linen in public.
Ms Halende says counseling is voluntary and victims of abuse must not be forced, but a comprehensive approach must facilitate for options that the victim must choose from.
The community must engage in more awareness that will make victims have self acceptance as this is a stepping stone towards counseling.
Without counseling, they can have problems in relationships and also choose the wrong lifestyle or the person can also be an abuser himself or herself.
Ms Halende says the negative attitude of society, which has seen socialisation being biased against women, needs to be addressed as this is one of the key ingredients in preventing sexual abuse and gender based violence.
It is clear that the cycle of violence and all forms of abuse has been identified in our families, relationships and the community.
Therefore, there is need to establish an empowering process, which can make individuals feel that they have control over psychological barriers to achieve the desired change within their lives.