IN last week’s article we looked at some of the ways that you can use to personalise your vows and make them as easy as saying I do.
As you continue preparing your wedding vows, you may be so focused on writing the perfect vows and impressing your guests such that you forget to show what makes you who you are and what makes your loved one so special.
You can still share also the best parts of who you are and what your relationship means without isolating, confusing or boring the audience.
The invited guests do not want bed time stories, it’s a time and day to celebrate, do not spoil the mood. Always remember to be yourself.
As you write down your vows, it may be tempting to fall into cliché, avoid using a phrase or an idea so often such that it is no longer interesting, effective and relevant.
The point of writing your own vows is to make them as personal as possible, so try to find the most original ways of showing how you feel.
You should avoid things like calling your future spouse “madam” or saying that your heart melted when you first met. Just focus on the truth only, do not tell lies.
After you finish writing your vows, you must get feedback on how you have written them and how they sound when you read or say them out.
If you and your spouse have agreed to share the vows before saying them on the actual day, ask each other what you really think about the vows you have written.
If you and your future spouse have decided not to share the vows to each other you can ask your Wedding Planner, Pastor or the Marriage Officiator.
Your parents are also the right people to get feedback and advice from.
Having the insight of elders will help you understand more about the nature of love.
The Bible encourages us in the book of Proverbs 1: 8-9: “My child, listen when your father corrects you.
Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.”
Once you’ve got your vows written down, all you have to do is focus on the execution, you should practice saying them enough times so that it sounds natural, but don’t say them so many times such that your vows sound too rehearsed.
Focus on speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact with your beloved while glancing. Vows should always come from the heart after all.
As you prepare your vows let them be positive and right as you are making a life time commitment. Don’t speak vows that you cannot understand and you don’t know what they mean.
Many people around the world have adapted the medieval wedding ceremony vows. Medieval is a characteristic of the Middle Ages from about the fifth to the fifteenth centuries. These vows are very familiar, well known and the most spoken.
I ….. take thee ……… to be my wedded wife/ husband,
To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
for fairer for fouler,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part,
according to God’s holy ordinance
and thereunto l grant thee.
In the medieval wedding ceremony although laced with reference to God, it is not religious. Religions of those times were not a personal sharing of belief experiences about God, but instead an institution of the state.
The medieval were pagans, they did not believe in Christianity. Some Christians use these vows when making a commitment to one another on their wedding day, they use for worse, for poorer,
and in sickness.
Jesus taught on the creative power and the effectiveness of our mouth-piece in Mark 11:23: “For verily l say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.” Jesus didn’t say “you shall have what you mean,” He said “you shall have what you say.”
When you are saying the vows to your future spouse say what you mean and mean what you say, words are extremely important and have power.
That’s why the Lord Jesus said by your words you’ll be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. Your life is the character of your words.
If a man or woman’s words are confusing, their lives will be confusing. In the same way, if a man or woman’s words are wholesome, their lives will be wholesome.
That is why you must watch what you say! You can also read Matthew 12:36-37. And at the end of it all after you make a wrong confession; don’t say “l was only joking when l said that.” You have what you say, whether or not you mean it.
If you must make any joke, let it be positive! Do not make careless statements for they’ll produce results for you.
That’s why you must say only what you mean, and mean whatever you say.
Proverb 15:4
, King Solomon wrote: A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
The most potent force in the universe is the force of words.
Everyone releases words when they speak, but not everyone releases life.
In fact many people release death all the time without knowing it.
The fact that God gave us the ability to speak is evidence of His great love for us. We’re the products of words we speak. The right words build us, programme us for success, victory and a happy marriage.
But wrong words destroy a man’s or woman’s life. It matters the kind of words you put in your vows as you tell your future spouse about how much you love them.
Speak only lifting words, inspired words that give life and not words that destroy.
Remember God holds you accountable for the things you say.
So start and build your marriage by speaking the right vows when you say l do on your wedding day before God and man.
Your tomorrow will be a reflection of the words you speak today, so speak life-giving words.
Your marriage can’t be different from the words that you will speak on your wedding day.
As you enter into the New Year, stop regretting the failures of yesterday or fretfully dreading the challenges of tomorrow.
Regrets of yesterday and fears of tomorrow are enemies of today’s happiness. It doesn’t matter that yesterday’s assessments of you weren’t favorable; that was yesterday and it’s gone.
Choose to be positive and happy about today: make today your day of success.
Instead of anticipating tomorrow’s failures or the negative response you may get from people.
When Elijah met with the Lord on Mount Horeb, God asked him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9).
It didn’t matter where he had been or where or where he was going, God was concerned about his current location.
Today is what counts, so make a move to be your best today because tomorrow isn’t promised to you.
Tomorrow only belongs to those who take a hold of today because today is the springboard for tomorrow.
Have a blessed New Year.
The author is a wedding planner consultant and proprietor of Bernatta Bridal services Ndola.
Cell: 0966665468
Email: sunittasyabeene@yahoo.com
